He knew it.

There was no need for confirmation, he knew. Having Itachi say it just made it real. Tangible in their reality instead of just his mind. Although that’s all it does. Beyond admitting he did, his anger is still present. Hot and fresh, but he doesn’t know howto blow it of other than on himself.

If Itachi had to hold back, just how weak is he? His fingernails dig into his palm, failing to notice his brother moving away. Caught in his mind, he can’t believe that his own brother feels the need to. It speaks of his own skills doesn’t it? That even Itachi doesn’t seem him worthy going all out.

The clan saw this and registered it.

Itachi made him look a fool.

“Why do you do this to me,” he says almost desperately. Lifting his gaze to stare at his brother’s back.

“Why?”

He can’t cry.

…Actually, maybe he should. Allow himself a few tears, let himself get called weak, and emotional. Maybe they would prefer Sasuke in that case, if Itachi could be be brought to tears that easy.

“You would be angry either way, Aniki.” And with that he shuts the door behind him, and plans to take himself to the forest, where he can complete the rest of his training alone. Likely safer to not come to dinner when it’s called…

He had other responses prepared. None of them feted a better outcome.

I thought it would make you feel better to defeat me. You worry about it too much.

It doesn’t count if you let me win!

He has to be so careful of every little thing he says, or does, and no situation is winnable. Itachi will …just have to get used to Sasuke hating him forever.

damnedflame:

The lack of response is more fuel to the fire in his chest. Is he not even worthy of a response now? His teeth clash together in his mounting rage at the boy before him.

~~At himself.~~

Why is it so difficult to earn the respect and admiration of his clan? His efforts are simply meaningless compared to a natural talent such as his brother. Younger bother. Perhaps if Itachi was the older one between them this problem wouldn’t even exist. This shame he must carry at being second best is heavy.

Thoughts of violence swirl in his mind, but not once does he raise his fist. His guilt is already settling at having even shoved his brother. He hates this too. This mixture of feelings he has for Itachi. A love conflicted with emotions of envy and wrath. It’s complicated when it shouldn’t be. He should be the example, the one teaching his brother. Not the other way around.

Still his earlier question hangs in the air and he repeats it to the younger boy.

“Did you hold back Itachi,” he tries again, his voice level until it breaks upon saying his name. Pressing his lips together at the slip of control, he forces his gaze to remain on him.

It wasn’t Sasuke’s fault, not really.

It was the others. People like Yashiro, Inabi, Tekka…his father’s retainers, spokespeople of that ugly thing they called pride, willing to turn violent at the slightest perceived infraction.

They made Sasuke this way.

Yet– Itachi cannot help but blame himself for this distance between them. Everyone else called Itachi this, and Itachi that. But if he was so intelligent, and powerful, why could he not do something as simple as ease Sasuke’s worry, and repair their bond? Stupid, stupid…

“Yes.” Itachi will admit it. Sasuke deserves honesty, at least. It doesn’t matter now. Truth be told, he could’ve lain his older brother out in seconds. Either would get him the same reaction; anger. His hands pull the sliding doors open, and it’s a miracle he isn’t outright shaking.

What use is he if his brother– the person he admires above all, hates him.

damnedflame:

The hand on his wrist is slapped away. He thrusts his brother back. Eyes pin down the the younger boy, they reflect raging black sea at the words thrown at him.

“Don’t fucking patronize me Itachi!” His brother’s words are salt to his shredded pride and all he sees is before him is another obstacle he has to overcome. One his clan believes he never will, because Itachi is the ‘true’ heir here. Perhaps the expectation is he won’t ever defeat his younger brother.

So he did well for going against the prodigy, but he can’t accept that. It’s roils within him to know they are simply accepting his defeat of Itachi, simply lowering their standards to accommodate his position.

“Thanks to you there’s no pride in carrying the title of heir,” he hisses between his clenched teeth.

Itachi flinches.

Not from Sasuke shoving him, and not from Sasuke’s hateful gaze. But from the last words to come out of his mouth.

He can’t do anything to placate his older brother, so obsessed with meeting the clan’s standards, and being drunk on their undue pride. If Sasuke were someone else, Itachi would harbor great disdain, perhaps even hatred, but not Sasuke. His older brother was everything to him, and he just wishes he knew a way to get him to relax, to see that the approval of the clan wasn’t worth it, and was an uphill battle.

He has nothing else to say. Itachi worries his lip between his teeth and pulls himself up, refusing to make eye contact. He doesn’t want to make Sasuke angrier, and the only solution the seven year old can come up with is to remove himself from the situation.

Perhaps he shouldn’t come to training tomorrow… or ever again, maybe. Training by himself means he doesn’t have to risk upsetting Sasuke.

He hopes, at least.

damnedflame:

@uchihasavior

Sasuke turns on Itachi once the training room is emptied. His dark eyes are a violent torrent of emotions.

“Did you hold back in our fight Itachi,” Sasuke demands before grabbing the front of his little brother’s shirt.

“Did you?!” He snarls.

Itachi’s hands reflexively come to his brother’s wrist, eyes wide and locked on him.

He knew his brother wanted praise, and would always get furious when Itachi bested him during training. He thought that maybe if he held back, and let his big brother start winning…

Does he lie? He doesn’t want to start lying to Aniki, but nothing he can do will make him happy, and this makes him more upset than anything else.

Sasuke called it a fight.

“You did very well.” He deflects, with what the older men told Sasuke, hoping it’s enough to make him calm down.

“I don’t know…” he breaks himself off, takes a breath and hardens his resolve. “Sometimes living feels undeserved nii-san.” The harshness of his statement rattles his thoughts. It’s not something he wanted to let go but found himself pondering over and over lately. Is it a phase? He can’t shake it. “Why did my innocence gain me life, when there were others who were in the same position as me. Unaware of the situation.” (I was reading the manga and well tosses this @ u )

“It’s because of me.” He begins, quiet, but calm. He knows what Sasuke is asking, and Sasuke deserves an answer that won’t put the blame on him.

“I sought to protect you. To protect the innocence I saw. Given my position, and what Danzo was trying to get me to agree to, he saw it fitting to wager with your life.” He knew how ugly it was. That Itachi was willing to kill other children just in Sasuke’s position.

It was Itachi’s fault.

damnedflame:

“She was in a hurry,” Sasuke offers with a shrug. It’s probably why it was so messy. From what he can remember his mother has always had a graceful type of writing.

“Okay you remember those and I’ll take the ones I could read,” he says to Itachi. Sliding open the door he steps out and nods to a few clansmen passing by.

“How did you last mission go nii-san?”

Perhaps. It would also explain why she had sent Sasuke out to fetch them instead of her.

Sasuke speaks as if they’re going to split up to search, but the question brings Itachi right back in.

“It went fine.” Most of his missions did. Unfortunately the surveillance was still in effect, but to a much more manageable level, at least. Less cameras, less hypervigilance. Maybe one day they’d all be gone.

damnedflame:

It’s not until they’re slipping on their sandals that Sasuke remarks about his brother’s work. He saw the scrolls on his desk.

“This shouldn’t take too long, kaa-san said a few items.”

That reminds him to check his pocket once he stands. Unfolding the note, he squints at the messy scrawl.

“That’s if we can read it,” he mutters and he hands the note over to his brother decipher. He could only make out bread, milk, and of course tomatoes. The other four items were a mystery.

It was…surprisingly difficult to decipher. Itachi blinks sharply, and immediately lets his Sharingan spin into view, to decipher the strokes in order. Why was it this terrible? Had she left her handwriting go now that assumably, she was the only one to read it?

“Daikon. Ginger. Seaweed rolls and Mirin.”

damnedflame:

@uchihasavior

“Kaa-san needs some ingredients from the market,” Sasuke announces leaning against his brother’s door frame.

“Want to come aniki? Or are you busy?”

Itachi is, unfortunately, always too busy. But his reports are a skill, and one he’s honed since he was seven, and this was Sasuke, whom he rarely had time for, and alright, he can make a small few exceptions.

For baby brother.

“I can come.” The reports won’t wither away if he neglects them for an hour or two. Sasuke will appreciate it.

✩ Grooming, brushing, or tending to their hair.

Acts of Affection

✩ Grooming, brushing, or tending to their hair.

It’s more than simply tending to his hair.

It is a means of control.

Itachi is fully aware of the intent behind Sasuke’s actions. His brother is his, and he will decide how Itachi dresses for the day, and how he will wear his long hair, which now has an actual shine due to access to regular baths, and decent shampoo.

Itachi used up all of his cards long ago, and knows that relinquishing this control to Sasuke keeps him complacent, and more importantly, within the village walls.

Sasuke’s fingers are gentle, fingers against Itachi’s scalp as they brush through the locks first, before he even goes for the brush. Sasuke’s pleased his brother no longer has that many split ends, and the length is almost even– save for the bangs.

He opts for a higher ponytail. Not too lose, and not too tight, Itachi tilting his head back when necessary.

Itachi stands when called, and will remain by Sasuke’s side, lest someone be brave enough to pick him off again.

Slamming open his brother’s bedroom door, five year old Sasuke runs straight toward his brother’s bed. He dives in, seeking the refuge of aniki’s arms. They were out to get him! The ghosts from cousin Hiro’s stories! “It’s coming nii-san! It’s coming,” he whispers to his brother, in hopes it doesn’t hear.

Itachi had just finished the last sentence in a mission report, and was in the process of folding the scroll neatly when Sasuke barreled into his room. It’s not exactly a surprise, given he can hear the footsteps on the floors long before his door actually slides open.

One arm rests on Sasuke’s back, the other holding the scroll just a bit higher, to prevent it being harmed.

“What’s coming, Sasuke.” Likely something nonsensical– as children tended to believe, but he likes hearing Sasuke’s point of view on it anyways.