how anti-shipping fosters, encourages, perpetuates, and glorifies abuse in fandom (masterpost)
these subjects come up again and again, so I wanted a masterpost of links to what I’ve written about how fandom anti-shipper culture is tightly related to abuse in fandom.
note: predators, abusers, and bullies are present everywhere in fandom, not just in anti-shipping or pro-shipping (or neutral) circles. this is because abusers will use whatever they have available to them as a tool for abuse. learn warning signs of abusive and/or controlling behavior; these will be far more reliable red flags than what a person ships in fandom.
I believe that many antis are coming from a genuine place. I just strongly disagree with where your focus lies and your chosen methods of dissemination. In fact, I feel that anti-shipping actively aids predators, for reasons which I’ll try to summarize in brief here.
the anti-shipping community is a great place for abusers because it encourages people to develop unquestioning loyalty to and trust of internal authorities, become deeply vulnerable to shame cycles, isolate themselves from outsiders, and avoid critical thought or skepticism of rhetoric.
The icing on the cake is that the things that antis say are ‘bad bad bad’ – incest, ‘pedophilia’ (they mean csa), and abuse – barely even resemble actual incest, csa, and abuse. As a result, when confronted with the real thing I suspect most anti-shippers are completely defenseless.
By demanding/requiring that others change their behavior on sites where antis have no moderating authority, they create loopholes for and/or implicitly approve of action taken to force people to comply with anti-shipper demands. this silent approval gives antis unspoken permission to exaggerate, lie, and create scaremonger material about anything or anyone they disapprove of or want to silence. It also gives abusers in the anti ranks an overlooked ‘blind spot’ from which they are allowed to harass, defame, dogpile, threaten, blackmail, doxx, suicide bait, and assault people who don’t change in response to anti demands.
the funny thing about bullies – especially self-righteous bullies that travel in packs, such as antis – is that 99.8% of the time they come out on top of any conflict they get into. this is because as long as a bully’s opponent gives even the slightest fuck about playing fair, being kind, and giving the benefit of the doubt, they will never out-bully a bully.
Miscellaneous:
Cultlike & authoritarian aspects of anti-shipping (how it traps people in anti-shipping friendsgroups & makes it difficult to leave):
and finally a few links to my favorite external resource that very beautifully describes why anti-shipping works the way it does:
This is an incredibly important post, especially on the topics of recognising abuse and gaslighting – incidentally two of antis’ most used tactics.
Tag: shipping
[[ Things that are ok: personally being uncomfortable with a ship you think is found family/platonic/familial/etc
Things that are not ok: trying to shame the people who ship it as if there’s something wrong with them and they can only view the ship in the way you do ]]
[[ While I’m at it OroKabu doesn’t even count as found family.
Kabuto’s family is Nonou and the other people at the orphanage. Orochimaru is not his father in any way, Orochimaru manipulated and abused him.
I’m still not shading Orokabu shippers but the people who are trying to say it’s wrong because “orochimaru and kabuto are found family” are just dead wrong. Shame on y’all. ]]
Its Orochimaru’s found family at otonin’s detriment bc he’s a psychopath without the ability to form proper bonds. So it’s like the Criminal Minds episode of found family. Which is bad.
So I mean I personally think if you want to do fluffy otonin stuff that’s totes okay so long as you understand the above & aren’t romanticizing it among impressionable peeps.
[[ Uh, no, they’re not Orochimaru’s found family even then. Orochimaru never considered any of them his family. This is not factual canon in the slightest. He has always referred to them as either useful, subordinates, or experiments. Kabuto is a subordinate, and one of his most useful, sure– but he isn’t any form of family.
Orochimaru’s told us who his family are. His birth parents, Log, and Mitsuki. No one else falls into that category. I’m not saying these relationships are inherently healthier but the only people who can classify as family are the family Orochimaru’s actually named.
People don’t need to be reminding others 100% of the time that they aren’t romanticizing something, that’s way too much effort to please people who are trying to play moral police. Also..
“
#Orochimaru#naruto meta#mad at boruto for giving kids mixed messages about Orochimaru#like. he’s a murderer#ya’ll on some thin moral ice out there
“
Really? Are we really at this point again, where we’re trying to pass judgement on the morals real people have based on how they treat the fictional characters they like? Because this is the most fucked up thing about this whole ordeal. This isn’t your right. This isn’t anyone’s right.
Avoid the ships you don’t like if people are portraying them in ways you don’t like. Don’t try to shame these people when you could completely avoid the circles they operate in. It’s your responsibility to avoid the content rather than immersing yourself in it and then complaining youre having a bad time as if it’s somehow they’re fault and theyre ~gross~ or ~immoral~.
All of you should be better than this. ]]
Oh no! We can’t judge actual morals over fictional interests at all! It just sounded to me like that was the direction you were leaning in your initial post. I did see it at 4 in the morning.
I think I was just trying to say that it’s okay to enjoy dark themes so long as you don’t lose yourself among them for too long or with any media you enjoy really. I just know from experience that sometimes RP can get dicey if you’re vulnerable.
And it is absolutely no one else’s responsibility to keep that line in check for you. It just seemed like you definitively attacked the Oto found family dynamic as factually wrong & then said let people write what they want in the next paragraph. I dunno, shit man. I like the dark themes is all but if somebody loves “uwu bean Oro” do you boo.
((the difference is I’m not saying people who think they are found family/lovers are inherently immoral/disgusting/nasty. Not once have I implied that. Nor did I say people aren’t allowed to write it. Is it factually wrong according to canon? Yes. Is there anything inherently wrong with writing it how one wants anyways? No.
My primary issue is the idea that people aren’t allowed at all to see a certain pairing beyond the limits of how someone else sees them. People who see certain Dynamics as children and parents or found family are absolutely not at all allowed to tell other people they’re gross for seeing it in a romantic light.
Specifying orokabu isn’t found family was just correcting facts– not implying people are gross for seeing it that way. ))
I just wanted to high-five you for comments about shipping. I get that crap so often over OroAnko that I have to keep anon asks off on both my blogs. It’s not like I don’t warn repeatedly when I post/ write illicit material. People can be such babies.
[[ Fictional relationships need to be treated as such that– fictional. No one’s being hurt at the end of the day. These people don’t actually exist.
I’m pretty sure everyone and their mother knows Orochimaru and Anko’s relationship went sour in canon, that’s no reason..not to ship them? Not to everyone else. People have different limits, and things antis have to learn is that their limits aren’t everyone else’s limits. And that their discomfort doesn’t trump what another human being can write. It’s like they forget blocking and blacklisting are features they can use.
Ships =/= real life morals.
They never have, they never will. Shipping is not performative. It isn’t activism. It’s just godamn shipping and no one’s woke for trying to ship the ~purest~ things. ]]
[[ Things that are ok: personally being uncomfortable with a ship you think is found family/platonic/familial/etc
Things that are not ok: trying to shame the people who ship it as if there’s something wrong with them and they can only view the ship in the way you do ]]
[[ While I’m at it OroKabu doesn’t even count as found family.
Kabuto’s family is Nonou and the other people at the orphanage. Orochimaru is not his father in any way, Orochimaru manipulated and abused him.
I’m still not shading Orokabu shippers but the people who are trying to say it’s wrong because “orochimaru and kabuto are found family” are just dead wrong. Shame on y’all. ]]
Its Orochimaru’s found family at otonin’s detriment bc he’s a psychopath without the ability to form proper bonds. So it’s like the Criminal Minds episode of found family. Which is bad.
So I mean I personally think if you want to do fluffy otonin stuff that’s totes okay so long as you understand the above & aren’t romanticizing it among impressionable peeps.
[[ Uh, no, they’re not Orochimaru’s found family even then. Orochimaru never considered any of them his family. This is not factual canon in the slightest. He has always referred to them as either useful, subordinates, or experiments. Kabuto is a subordinate, and one of his most useful, sure– but he isn’t any form of family.
Orochimaru’s told us who his family are. His birth parents, Log, and Mitsuki. No one else falls into that category. I’m not saying these relationships are inherently healthier but the only people who can classify as family are the family Orochimaru’s actually named.
People don’t need to be reminding others 100% of the time that they aren’t romanticizing something, that’s way too much effort to please people who are trying to play moral police. Also..
“
#Orochimaru#naruto meta#mad at boruto for giving kids mixed messages about Orochimaru#like. he’s a murderer#ya’ll on some thin moral ice out there
“
Really? Are we really at this point again, where we’re trying to pass judgement on the morals real people have based on how they treat the fictional characters they like? Because this is the most fucked up thing about this whole ordeal. This isn’t your right. This isn’t anyone’s right.
Avoid the ships you don’t like if people are portraying them in ways you don’t like. Don’t try to shame these people when you could completely avoid the circles they operate in. It’s your responsibility to avoid the content rather than immersing yourself in it and then complaining youre having a bad time as if it’s somehow they’re fault and theyre ~gross~ or ~immoral~.
All of you should be better than this. ]]
[[here i made it better. ]]
UchihaSavior 