uminosclassroom:

“Okay,” Iruka’s voice softens to match Itachi’s and he nods his head. He felt lost and confused before, but getting an answer hasn’t helped at all, it just put the burden entirely on himself. 

Slowly, Iruka reaches out to brush his thumb over Itachi’s cheek, looking for any discomfort. By now, Itachi might be familiar with Iruka’s searching eyes. Maybe he can focus on what Itachi wants for now and worry about the rest of it later, when it may actually become a long-term issue. 

“Let’s start there then? Is there anything you wanted to ask me about?”  

He can’t look at Iruka while he’s being touched.

Despite the fact they had sex the night before, physical comfort in his…shall he say, saner hours was still a foreign entity. He doesn’t move away, nor flinch, but he cannot maintain eye contact. It helps that when Iruka grooms him he is facing away, never challenged to make or keep contact. 

“Hygiene, perhaps.” He’d a rudimentary level knowledge of how sex was supposed to work when it came to the…more natural combination, but no idea how it would affect him to maintain a relationship with another man.

Iruka spoke as if he’d experience. Let him be the teacher, then.

Hah.

uminosclassroom:

“What does that even mean!?” Panic easily gives way to ire, and Iruka is no exception. It sounds like Itachi didn’t like it. He regretted it, even if the experience somehow worked out to be neutral or nearly neutral. But Iruka also had his own regrets about the situation, and here he is trying to discuss the possibility of a continuation. 

Apparently, what boiled down to a simple yes or no question was still not simple enough. Iruka takes yet another pause, another deep breath, and moves onto his next question. 

“Would you…would you want to do it again?” 

He really shouldn’t forget that people don’t think like he does. And yet it’s a great source of frustration, because he tires of speaking quickly and knows with years of experience its better just to keep his mouth shut. 

The question presented is simple. Yes. Or no. Yet Itachi is wrought with other answers. I would not halt you were you to try, I suppose if you do, anything to avoid outright admittance. 

But the man is owed a fair answer, especially after they’d both crossed an unspoken barrier. He relives the memories anew, testing his body’s reaction for a few moments, enough to bring him to his final answer.

His gut didn’t recoil in disgust, and to Iruka’s credit, he hasn’t tried to extract himself from the bed.

“Yes.” It’s quiet. But it’s there. 

uminosclassroom:

Okay. That’s promising. For a moment he feels almost hopeful, only to wrap himself up in more guilt. He shouldn’t feel hopeful. He may not have had reasons earlier, but he can think of a few now that he is more awake. They aren’t living together by choice. It wouldn’t be easy for Itachi to leave if he wanted to.  They’re both men. 

But the sex was decent and the human contact was great. He would be willing to do it again, and that terrifies him. Is he even gay? Fuck, he can’t think about this right now. He’s taking too long to respond, making an awkward situation even more awkward. 

“I had a good time. Did you?”

He tries to remember. 

It isn’t as if he’s magically forgotten. But repressing things was another terrible habit of his. How is he able to define this? Iruka had not harmed him. He was whole, with his faculties, and the normal aches of his ill body hadn’t found him quite yet.

It had felt…nice. He’d been more than willing after the move was made, and any natural panic from being utterly defenseless had left him. Having another body pressed against his..not worrying about death or physical harm…

“I suppose the regret is negligible.” It’s the most ridiculous thing he can say, in lieu of ‘I liked it’. And yet Itachi manages to make it more confusing.

uminosclassroom:

“Okay.” Iruka takes in a steadying breath. He almost wishes Itachi had taken the opportunity to voice some sort of need. It would have given Iruka a distraction, and a reason to get out of bed. 

“…do you want to talk about this?” They could just forget it, not acknowledge whatever feelings were between them that made this happen in the first place and go on being unintended roommates. 

He enters his own world for a moment, still trying to find some sort of answer that would explain it. Did he want affection? It’s the only solution he isn’t immediately willing to accept. He didn’t like it, he told himself. Rejected it when other people tried it. Didn’t let people touch him on the regular because he didn’t want it.

And yet, despite that, he’s managed to wake up post coitus. With another man, no less.

Then the question sifts through his filter, and he’s forced back into the real world, shoulders tensing as he now forces his current position.

“I suppose.” Maybe Iruka can find an answer he can’t. And it hadn’t been painful…